Friday, Oct. 17, 2003 - 5:14 p.m.
you know, i've been wanting to write becasue well, it's been two weeks, but I just haven't felt like it when I've had time.
Things are going better than my last entry. I still have moments where I freak out and need reassurance, but for the most part I'm readjusted to being here.
I've still got some stuff on my mind, but even now, I don't feel like taking the time to write about it.
I get to go home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and that'll be cool. My family from Michigan is going to be going to my mom's for Thanksgiving, so that's an extra treat.
I talked to my grandfather last night. I just felt like I should call him. And then he talked to me for 20 minutes (which is a long time for him). He told me about how he was just singing the other day and tears were falling down his cheeks. And then he told me about how he and grandma used to be sitting there doing stuff (him playing cards, her reading or whatever) and he'd look up and she'd be staring at him and then say, "you were singing Jerry."
And it struck me, that my Grandpa needs someone to talk to. He's kind of lonely. But I don't think he really feels like he can open up much to his kids, so he kind of does with me. And that's just ...interesting to me.
I guess he worries about me being here all by myself (cause he asked if I had people to pass the time with and do stuff with) and I worry about him. It's fair. It's family.
Here autumn is incredibly beautiful. It feels like a metaphor. Something about the beauty of dying or change or something.
but it's so many colors that I can't even name them all (becaus ethere are so many kinds of trees) and the leaves are just lingering there rather than falling to the ground right away. So, I drive to work, through little residential roads, up and down hills lines with foliage, admiring the color. It's nice.
Ok, I'm tired. It's Friday, I'm getting out of here.
