Monday, Oct. 20, 2003 - 1:51 p.m.
This morning I had to scrape ice off of my windshield. I wasn't prepared for that. So, adding that to the stretch of road that seems to have an accident every day, I was a little late for work. But not enough to really matter.
It feels like things are finally coming together. So, to those of you that were supportive in my freaking out and told me you believed in me, I just want to say thank you. You have no idea how much it helped. (Don't worry though, I'm sure I'll freak out in the future and need you again soon.)
So, Friday I didn't actually end up going home. Instead I went and hung out with some of the guys from work.
I was invited, which is flattering. See, there is a kind of unspoken rule that there is no talking about outings at work because then there are people that will invite themselves along. So, I never invite myself along to anything. But they called me at my desk and very quietly said, "hey we're doing something after work, you in?" So, I went.
But while I really like the guys, I realized that I need to find some people to hang out with that I fit in with a little more.
Every single time they do anything, every time, they drink - heavily. And usually there is some drug use as well. And, well, to each his own. But when it's a necessity of hanging out, that just seems like a problem. And when you're the only one not participating, it makes you feel like you're not quite fitting in.
I'm not saying I didn't have fun. It was fun, we watched TV and hung out, and simple stuff like that can be fun. I'm just saying that in the long run, I don't want to continually have to explain why I don't want a drink, or whatever.
Which brings me to Saturday and Sunday. I spent these days alone.
Not lonely, but alone. Sometimes it's very good to be alone.
On Saturday I went to see the movie "Runaway Jury" which was quite good. Sunday I spent in a bookstore, reading. I ran into some people I knew while I was there. That was cool. It made me feel like I know people here.
And I may have found a place to stay. There is a room for rent with a bathroom. It is close to work and in my price range and I go to talk to the lady about it today. It has it's downfalls, but it would be temporary. So, I'm crossing my fingers.
And I have my days off for Christmas taken care of, so I can start making plans for that too.
And to end this entry, I feel that I should recommend Dashboard Confessional to everyone. They're a great band (or he's a great artist, depending on how you look at it I guess).
I have Tillman to thank for turning me on to this band - he copied the CD for me. I could probably give Patrick credit, since the first time I technically heard them was on a mix CD he gave me, but he never gave me a track list, so I didn't really know who it was I was hearing. Either way. Good stuff, listen to it.
