Monday, Jul. 05, 2004 - 1:52 p.m.
So much is going on it seems.
In the past couple weeks I've been told about 2 friends and my sister's upcoming weddings, one friend's wife being pregnant, and one's new job.
In the meantime, I feel like I'm coasting through life. My days are starting to run together and I'm still not doing anything I want to be doing.
Not to say that I dislike my job or anythign like that, but it's also not what I *want.*
I'm procrastinating like crazy without realizing I'm doing it, and not using the resources I have. I don't know if I'm sabotaging myself or just not being mindful of my time.
In the meantime, what can be called my love life is confusing.
It seems like friends are always falling for me.
What I'm uncertain of is if there was no initial spark between people, can one grow. If it does can it be honest or is it just mutual neediness.
There's a part of me that wants to stop thinking so much and just jump into a romance with this sweet, smart, sexy friend of mine.
But my mind doesn't stop. And I know he's the type to take relationships very seriously. And I don't want to break his heart and something tells me that I would end up doing just that.
In the meantime, he does these little nice things for me like stopping by my job when I work all day to make sure I have food and (silly as it sounds) bringing me comics he thinks I'd like and looks at me in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable.
And I don't know what to do and I'm too selfish to give up his friendship even though I know I'm probably only risking leading him on.
I don't know. LIfe's a tiny bit confusing right now. But I think it'll even out.
