Tuesday, Nov. 09, 2004 - 1:28 a.m.
It seems that the trend for me lately with these entries are multiple topics. So here goes.
I'm finally getting to it. The election. I'd put off writing about it.
I'm coming out of my election depression. I know that sounds silly, but it really upset me for a bit. I'm saddened by a lot of it, disappointed in America.
It bothers me that so many people seem to have voted on what I vew to be the less important issues. Issues of "morality." Eleven states voted to ban gay marriage! That makes me sad. I've never been a proponent of taking rights away. Laws should be made to protect rights.
Plus, it makes me angry, because some of the largest audiences for TV shows featuring gay characters are the same people that voted to limit their rights. It's ok for you to entertain us, just don't expect us to treat you like you matter. Hearkens back to days of old. Seperate but equal. Only in this case, not even equal, just seperate.
But I'm also sad because I feel like so many Americans voted uninformed....and probably for the candidate that would hurt them most economically. And I'm worried because of it. Worried that my generation will face a recession like my parents faced when I was a kid, that health care will become even more impossible for me (and many others) to get.
And let me talk for a second about the conservative's desire to make abortion illegal.
I was talking to my boss. She is from Israel. Israel is a country that's government is religiously based. It is a Jewish government. And yet, there, a woman has the right to chose.
Here, where our government is supposed to be religiously neutral, we are trying to make laws based on some people's definition of Christian doctrine. That is wrong. Our government is not supposed to make laws governing morality....and whether or not abortion is (a sin, evil, moral however you want to put it) wrong is a personal belief issue.
But in the midst of the election depression and worry, there are small glimmering reminders that not all is lost.
This was the closest election of all time. Almost half of the people that voted voted for Kerry. Which means that almost half of America is liberal. Maybe not enough to win the vote, but enough to help me feel like I'm not floating in a hostile tide. There are many people that agree with me, and hopefully, eventually, we will be the majority and will be heard.
In the meantime, I'm hating this last week of ending this retail job. I want it to be over.....because it's irritating me to no end. They keep asking me to help them out through the holidays and work weekends and nights when I can, but then they cut my hours for my last week. After I told them that the reason I had to quit was that I was having a hard time getting by moneywise. So it's like this:
"We know you can't get a new job until this time with us is over, but here's less hours....oh and by the way, can you come in the 10 days right befor Christmas and work the nightmare for us."
Probably not.
Yet, at the samet time, scared out of my mind about this temping thing. Major anxiety that I won't get a job call for weeks is starting to hit me. I'll deal with it.
And amidst all of this my mom is having health problems. She was in the hospital earlier this week for bronchitis that turned into pneumonia.
This may have finally gotten her to quit smoking. Plus side.
Down side is they noticed that her heart rate is not normal. It's lower than it should be, and fluctuating strangely.
She's going to a cardiologist Wednesday, but she's very worried and upset. It bothers her that she's having all sorts of problems and no one can figure out what they stem from.
I just hope that they get someone to check on her kidneys, because her respitory therapist said it might all stem from the problems she's been having with them.
Of course, they can't figure out what's with her kidneys, only that something is going on there.
It's all very confusing and I'm worried, but I think if they can just get to the bottom of it, it'll be ok.
And through this Jairo's been there. Every day asking if I've talked to my mom, asking how she's doing.
And today he asked me something that was very odd for me.
He asked what he should tell people (I think mostly his family) at Thanksgiving when they ask where I'm from...because they won't mean which state, they'll mean where is my coloring and features from.
Then I have to explain to him that I've never even thought of that like that. I've always just answered that, "American." And honestly I don't know all of my backgrounds. But I gave him what I do know: Belgian (from my mother's father's father), Polish (from my mother's father's mother, and probably my biological father), likely German (from my mother's mother's side), and probably others. He settled on explaining me as having "European" descent. (Which in itself is interesting because I've been told before that I look European - apparently that looks different that the typical white American, although I'm not sure how)
But it made me realize a little how different certain little things were for us. I've never thought of this before because most of my friends were several generation Americans, and unless there were specific heritages to celebrate, it became a basic white, black, asian american kind of thing. Non specific.
Jairo moved here as a child. He's a first generation American. Most of his close friends are too or are the first generation born here. There is still a connection to their roots that is/was mostly gone with me and the majority of the people I grew up with.
So about his friends he knows that Brandon is Vietnamese, and James is part Guyanese and Irish, and Christa is half Mexican and half Irish, and so on.
And I was stumped by the question itself.
But, something I'm happy about, it's never a point of contention. It's just a curiosity with them, sort of a way of figuring out the connections between their respective cultures.
I feel like he and I represent different steps in the structure of America. Both important to its stabilty but shaped a little differently.
