Monday, Jan. 24, 2005 - 9:09 p.m.
These are the things I've learned from watching stupid reality tv swap shows like "trading spouses":
The mother really is the head of most households.
No matter how much the individuals in the family might be irritated with their mother or spouse, they're always super thrilled to have them back even after only a week.
Control freaks aren't as happy as people who go with the flow, and neither are their families.
Every time I've seen one of these shows, one of the women is an absolute, uptight, control freak (usually with some very very strong opinions) and one is laid back and willing to see try other people's things.
The result is almost always the same. One mother goes to the new house and treats the new family like they're horrible, dirty, freaks...manages to piss them off or alienate them and has no fun. The other mother goes to the new house, usually helps one or more of them let loose and has a nice time.
Sometimes it works the opposite but similar. The uptight family hate the new mother and therefore she has a bad time, and the laid back family teaches the uptight mother to have fun. But the general feeling is usually the same: you will be more content with life is you aren't so wrapped up in every tiny detail of yours and everyone else's life.
Families grow into units.
The children in most families have the ideals and hang-ups of their parents. In a house where the mother is a neat freak, the kids will feel uncomfortable messing things up and so on. This isn't exactly surprising but it's interesting to see over and over again. This is whymost people will never feel as comfortable living with any group of people that isn't at least similar to their family. In the end, we find people that match our lifestyles and thoughts and because they make us comfortable we tend to gravitate to them.
Sometimes, even a short change can cause people to reevaluate how things are.
Many times, one or both families, after this short time with a new person, will come to realize that they are a little too uptight about something or that maybe they should clean a little more or any number of things. Sometimes this is something that only one spouse realizes and you can tell there will be problems coming from this, and sometimes both spouses come to the same conclusion.
No one likes to be told what they might be doing wrong.
The mother's that traded homes always get to meet each other. And one or both always have to tell the other one something they think is wrong with their household. (Interestingly enough, it seems that one is almost always something like "you need to let your kids be kids") They almost always get offended and confrontational with each other. Because in the end, it's hard to hear that you might not be doing things right, especially something as important as your home.
Anyway, if these shows are clever statements about society or exploitive social experiments for ratings, that's your call (I'm more with the latter), but they can't help but hold some simple truths.
