Tuesday, May. 10, 2005 - 2:11 a.m.
I feel like rambling. I just don't feel like trying to tie this all together tonight and make it a one subject entry, just free though rambling.
I'm starting to get a little worried. I haven't heard from the temp agencies in a little over a week. All of last week and today. This makes me nervous. It's never been a break of more than a few days so I'm starting to make alternate plans in my head just in case. Gotta cross my fingers.
I'm going to see if I can get student aid for part-time school. It may be a silly thing to be unsure about, but I always only applied for full time student status, so I'm really not even sure if you're allowed to apply for part time status. But I want to take a class or two for fun if I can.
I just finished watching this show on MTV. "True Life: I'm part of an interracial couple" or something like that. I think I watched this once with Jairo. And I remember us both commenting on how it just seems like this shouldn't still be an issue. I mean, it's the 21st century. Why is this still an issue?
Don't get me wrong. Cultural differences I understand. To be with someone romantically, you have to have a certain level of commonality. And some cultural differences will be a barrier to that, making a relationship completely impossible. And that does make interracial couples still more uncommon than same race couples. But it shouldn't be that big a deal when it does happen, especially in our increasingly homogenized culture.
One of the guys in one of the couples (the straight couples, they also had a gay couple which made it interesting because it showed them getting shunned twice over by people) said something like 'when you care about someone you stop noticing the differences and only notice the similarities. You just don't think about it.'
And, I agree. I think that's true. The only times I think about me and Jairo being an interracial couple is when it comes up or when it's impossible not to acknowledge it.
His mother speaks primarily Spanish, so when I am around her, I remember there is a cultural background difference. When people ask.
His friend James is fascinated by this. I think in general, because it's not like he's dated all the same race as himself. He asked me if it turned me on that Jairo was hispanic (James is very blunt). I had to explain to him, that since I like Jairo's looks and they are Ecuadorian, in that sense of course. But that in the sense he was getting at, the because he's something "other" than me, no. Because it's not like that.
To get a thrill out of being with someone different from you you have to continually think of them as different from you. Lame.
So, like I said, it's odd to both of us that it's still an issue.
But I have to say, I have noticed something about interracial dating. And I'm not sure what the reasoning is or what it says. People have more issue with certain racial mixes than others. And that's kind of ironic/hypocrtical. I wonder if that's because they see certain other cultures as being more different than each other, or is it strict skin tone. I may never understand this issue.
Anyway.....
A bit over a week ago. Not last Thursday, but the one before that (April 28) I got a phone call from a friend in Germany. My old ninjitsu instructor Thomas. He'd gotten my mass "here's my new phone number" email and decided he'd like to call.
I hadn't heard his voice in years. It was odd. Voices change, but they don't. And I'd forgotten some of the German phrasing. I'd especially forgotten their habit of making sure you realize they're listening by saying "uh huh" or "mm hmm" what feels like every 10 seconds. It's meant to be polite, and at one time I was used to it, but having been back for quite a while, I had to remind myself it wasn't similar to the way I often have it used on me here, which is more like "hurry up and get to the point."
It was nice to realize that after years of only conversing with someone over email, you can still carry on a conversation with them. It was nice to hear the German accent.
The next day I got an email from my friend Jeremy. In it he said something that was almost an exact reading of my thoughts. He'd read my hidden meaning in the context of an email.
And it made me realize something about the kind of friends I have. A wonderful thing.
I will never be that person that has a million friends/acquaintances. I will never inspire huge parties when I come into town of people who just have to see me. But, instead, I get to have a few really great friends.
These few friends that will make a point of trying to see me, but understand if it's impossible. The kind of people that I can talk to after who knows how long and we will click and understand each other. The kind of friends that can read into my words and know what I mean, and/or know when I need their ear. And the kind of friends that offer their help. The kind that will stay around for a long long time. And that I will still love years from now. And all of this, over distance.
These are not superficial people or superficial friendships, the kind that last over distance.
And so, I feel very lucky. Because, while I may never inspire that worship-like status of mass acquaintance, I do inspire and obtain (and give back) deep loyalty and fondness (these aren't the right words, but it's late and while they were on the tip of my tongue, i lost them a second before typing).
And more....
I'm trying to change my resume and get my self really really jobhunting again. I realized last week, I'd lost something of the drive I had, and I'm determined to get back to that.
Now if only the resume would stop driving me crazy.
And a word on eating contests.
Eating contests are gross!
I don't care what you're eating. I don't care. Any time a person is trying to eat the most of anything in the shortest amount of time, that's just stupid.
Why do people do this? How is this something to be proud of? Ever?
This is not good for your body! You don't even get the enjoyment of tasting the food.
This guy on a show was talking about how he "trained" for the "sport" of eating contests. He would drink 1 and 1/2 gallons of water in 2 minutes to "stretch out his stomach."
You're not supposed to stretch out your stomach!! And what could the possible incentive to do that be? Recognition as the person that can scarf down the most? No thanks!
